agoge | >>FROM:@STORMBORN

The Araneans aren't letting on. And they gain as much from us, or they wouldn't care whether or not we came to their house parties. They don't want us to have power, but we do, though we may only hold it for as long as the queen favors us. We have it because she keeps them working for it. I don't know how to use it. The Night King, I understand... not why he does what he does, but what he's going to do. Here, would it be better to give them what they want, or to strike off the jaw of the next Aranean woman who says I look delicious? Both seem to have their merits. I don't know why COST hasn't recruited any Araneans other than the one you found. It would be a great help if they had.

Scout dislikes them and their entitlement to consume whatever they wish. The Commander believed their males to be stupid, and my daughter to be problematic. Can you truly imagine an Aranean yielding to COST's ways? That would require a firmer hand to make one yield.

Also, a giant spider-like creature attending a mission sounds like a terrible attempt at blending with the environment.

Show them your belly, and you might as well be eaten. I imagine that mindset is what makes them unwilling to yield so easily to any one side, particularly if they have a history of being enslaved. Loyalty remains with the conqueror, not with outsiders.

[ That, she thinks, is the only similarity between her people, Westerosi, and Araneans. ]

None of which helps us.

I don't think the males are as stupid as she says. Not all of them. But she's right that if Irriella learns to be more like the other Araneans here, it could prove to be a problem. She's Aranean enough on her own. Someone who was raised to it in a way that she wasn't might be harder to deal with. But some of them might have opinions about their world. If the Regency takes this deal and finds a way to end Aranean freedom, it might be that you'll find some Araneans with COST. Just not in a cell like ours where they have to blend with men.

[Might be that there are Wildlings helping to man Eastwatch now, too.]

But you're right, it doesn't help us today. The Araneans know we all need the ymir. That's our weak point. You're mine.

Nor do I. It somewhat mirrors our own world's view on women.

[ Yeah, she's calling that shit out. So sue her. ]

I don't know, perhaps they would join. Or perhaps they would rather fight and die. We've witnessed how quick they are to spill blood. Those fights had nothing to do with freedoms on the surface.

As for Ymir's remains, it's our negotiation point. It's weakness only if we allow them to dictate all the terms. So what are we offering in exchange to them for such a necessity that so many others want?

[ She doesn't know how to answer that last thought. As are you? But she doesn't think he makes her weak, and she's already reckless when it comes to certain things. If anything, he's calmed her.

So what would happen if she lost that calm? ]

I wasn't, in my memory of home.

If you refuse to teach people anything useful, you can't complain that they're useless in those ways.

[What he means is: he agrees. Women in Westeros aren't useless, but most aren't as useful as they could be, and if they don't fit, what choices do they have? Highborn boys might have more choices than others, but still, there's scant difference.]

What we're offering them is our help against the Regency when the Regency inevitably comes for them. If it's not what we're offering, it's what we should be offering. I don't know what else the Commander is offering. You weren't what? My weak point?

The ironies we face.

Are we offering them that? In all the days we've been here, not once did it occur to me to question our leadership about what their negotiations have been about. It's a nice enough offer, for as much as we can follow through on it.

[ What she means is: shame on her, for following like a good little slave. He may be able to detect her air of doubt in that thought. The Araneans are probably laughing, if that's what COST offers. Not once, but twice COST has come to this world, and in both instances, its warriors have fallen in battles. ]

Yes.

I don't know. It's what we should be offering, but can we prove that we do? Can we stand behind our word? And if we're not offering that, what do we have to give? If you weren't my weak point then, you are now. But it wasn't easy to leave you behind. Part of me wanted to stay there watching you forever. Wouldn't have been a good way to protect any of us, in the end, so I didn't. That would have been a poor thing for a king to do.

We couldn't, if we were in the middle of another mission. If they summoned us, which would we abandon: a world threatened by the Regency, or the Araneans who proffer us our own power?

[ Too many hypotheticals... and this vein of thought is no better. ]

So is bending the knee, I was told. Was I your weak point in your last memory of us?

Would we have to? They can play with time. We can finish what we're doing in one place and they seem to be able to choose where and when we go next. We're only here because of things we did at Gallipoli. But what does that mean if we fail? Might we be stuck where they leave us? I made a mistake at the parlay. You'll understand someday. The false queen tried to break our alliance. I told everyone I'd pledged myself to you.

As can the Regency. I still don't understand it all, but it seems as if some things

[ The thought ends there ]

Why not alter the last attempt whilst in this world?

[ Were he near her, he'd see her reaction: a sharp inhale, the widening of her eyes. ]

You did that before all our allies and enemies?

When you say ”alter the last attempt what do you have in mind? And aye, I did that. In front of everyone.

[With no surety that she would accept his suit... with no real suit yet, either.]

We travel time. We revisit the past in a bid to preserve it. Why has neither side attempted to alter the events in this world if the results the first time were so disastrous? With COST, I could understand the hesitancy, but what about the Regency?

In front of everyone.

[ She needs a moment. Loyalty's always been that factor which strengthened her own loyalties to a person in return. It bolsters her beliefs, feeds into that tiny part of her--that girl who spent so much of her life trying to blend with the crowds, to avoid detection, alone--filling the void that part of her life leaves. Less fear.

Coming from someone she cares for? Someone she's chosen and loves? ]

How did I respond?

You were eventually kinder than I might have deserved.

I didn't respond properly, then.

[ She means she never rewarded that show of loyalty. Maybe not before so many others, but privately. ]

Under the circumstances, I couldn't object to your response. You told me you respected what I'd done.

The circumstances are different, but I do now, as well.

The circumstances are different. But that's good to hear. Still, you're no less my weak point now than you were then. I think you're more so.

[ Weak, weak, weak. ]

When Kebechet took me, you continued the mission.
When I was poisoned, you didn't run off to murder the Aranean who caused me to grow ill.

[ Now, she's being intentionally obtuse, overlooking his meaning (which does bring her a mix of joy and worry), because she dislikes being associated with the term weak. ]

You're the one who bolsters my strength. You calm me.
And if they take you from me, Araneans, Regency, the mad queen, or some future opponent, their lives will turn to ash around them.

I would have run off to kill her if you'd died. Or I would have died trying. Even for your pain, I want to see her suffer, but what stops me from trying is our greater goal. I didn't say that you don't also make me strong.

I know. I just don't think all of that makes me your weakness. It makes me your reason to fight all the harder.

[ Well, that's what she thinks of him. Because the result of losing him would be--no, no, there's no considering it. ]

That doesn't help our world or the children we fight to protect.

All right, then you're my reason to fight harder. But it doesn't mean I can stand the thought of seeing you hurt.

[But that doesn't matter, does it? He'll still encourage her to get on Drogon's back and fight against the White Walkers.]

Edited 2018-05-27 02:51 (UTC)

Better. And I know. It's like how watching every wound you receive in the arena feels like I take the blow myself. What you warn me of

[ She means beyond the Wall. But before she can continue, she needs to stop and regather herself. ]

The separation and leaving you with them, alone. It makes me sick.

Unless something happens to change it, my uncle will come to my aid. I will reach you in time. I will survive it. Don't feel like my wounds are your wounds if you can help it. They hurt, but wounds are just wounds. They'll heal.

[Not advice he'd be able to take if she were the one being wounded. And if she's feeling a pain because of his wounds, he doesn't want her to know things like how much he screamed all those years ago when they took the arrows out of him, and he doesn't want her to think about things like the deep scarring across his chest and why it's slow and reluctant to heal.]

Edited 2018-05-27 03:06 (UTC)

[ What if the Regency manages to change that? The what ifs offer no use, so she forces the thoughts aside. ]

So long as you heal, is where my concern lies.

You know I can't promise that. But you know that I would if I could. Trust me to do what I can.

jhashch: where the rules are made up and the points don't matter because thsh is just toying w/ you!

pretty much lmao

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cw: GROSS FEELS AND HEART EYES

ditto

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