>>@ALKOHEIST | @ALL

[frogfractions]

Does anyone have need of lipstick? I've been able to create a few tubes' worth, but I don't use much makeup myself. The benefits of eternal youth, basically. I should be able to manufacture nail polish as well, and perhaps a few other things. We can discuss based on your needs.

In news that I promise is highly, and in fact, completely unrelated, I've finished my research on the Shaper specimen. As I'm sure most of you are aware - unless we've picked up some new recruits in the past week - we had a pest problem. Basically, I dissected one.

[What follows is just straight-up a picture of a shaper's brain. There's a vial of blue blood to the left, and a plastic container full of small bones to the right of it. Off-camera, there's a few other internal organs she's separated and tucked away, but mercifully she hasn't decided to show everything to the camera.]

Would anyone like to enjoy foreign cuisine with me? The brain is supposed to be a delicacy, so we might as well give it a try. It's unlikely I'll be able to get a hold of another specimen, so it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance, in a way.

And if you'd like access to my research notes, I can text them over to you. Knowledge is meant to be shared, after all. They mostly concern the creature's biology, since understandably I did not want an annoyed psychic creature bouncing around my room, and thus could not leave it alive to study its behavior. In layman's terms, I like being conscious.

Incidentally, any and all moral or ecological complaints can be forwarded to my secretary, @MODERATUS. Thank you for your time.

Comments

@MODERATUS

[bloodings]

DONT DRAG ME INTO YOUR WEIRD CRAP

@ALKOHEIST

[frogfractions]

Just think of it as being drafted.

You don't want to try the brain?

@TRENTCOAT.

[thingpuncher]

u know if theres a way to eat them without tripping balls
asking 4 a friend

[bloodings]

draft someone else.

and ill pass on the brain. youve probably done weird crap to it.

@ALKOHEIST

[frogfractions]

Tripping balls is part of the experience.

Or are you afraid to trip balls? Fear is an irrational response.

[frogfractions]

I was mostly just thinking of putting lemon pepper on it.

And I considered my roommate, but she can come into my quarters as she pleases. You, however, are powerless to reach me.

[thingpuncher]

u know that saying
"ill try anything once"
well i tried it
once

[bloodings]

[ ... ]

what room are you in? [ Ominous. ]

@BURGERKING

[dipolar]

It looks dubious, but I'm well aware of the consequences. Are you in need of a cook?

I would read the research notes, as well. I can add them to my list of study materials.

[frogfractions]

Not knowing that is a part of your powerlessness.

[frogfractions]

'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?'

I believe the portion of the brain that triggers the effect might be some gland, or in a specific section of the brain. If I were going to guess, I'd say the left half would be fine to eat, at the very least.

How was the taste?

[frogfractions]

I was planning on cooking it myself, but I'd be more than willing to take you up on the offer. Though if it's the consequences you're worried about, I could spend another hour or two poking around. I might have a way of fixing that.

And understood. Any progress on your studies, speaking of? I'm curious how my suggestions read to a layman.

And give me a second to type them, then. Unless you'd like pictures of my notes. In Italian.

[thingpuncher]

i didnt eat the brain
i got blood in my mouth when i was squashing the little shits
how you gonna neutralize that?

like tea

[frogfractions]

Oh, the blood. I see.

Specific washing and draining would be able to take care of that, I believe.

How did you manage to get their blood all the way to your mouth? Were you killing them with your mouth open?

[thingpuncher]

look there was a lot of splatter
and i enjoy my work
im a happy guy
with a big smile

anyway im down

[dipolar]

The consequences are something that give me a bit of pause, so yes, but I can cook the hateful things. I've experienced the blood's drug-like qualities myself, if that would help any of your research.

The list you gave me is difficult and I've been having to look into certain words so that I can understand in a language I'm more familiar with. As a result, my readings have been pretty slow. I'm on Archibald Cockren's text, Nicholas Flamel's chapter. I'll do better.

A typed copy would be appreciated, thanks for your hard work.

@Ponytailed also POOR MORDRED...

[horsepowered]

Did anything you came across suggest ways of preventing another infestation.

[frogfractions]

We could try eating all of them.

Jokes aside, no. I didn't find anything that suggested any particular aversion, or anything we could put out to ward them off.

Though since we're familiar with the signs, we could take action before they became a significant nuisance.

[frogfractions]

Would you like to squash my unneeded materials?
Picking apart an animal produces a surprising amount of garbage.

And down for dinner? Wonderful. I'll pencil you in. The dress code will be business casual.

[A full minute passes.]

That was a joke.

[frogfractions]

Another man has already informed me of the blood,
but I'd appreciate it if you could describe the effects succinctly. He does not seem very.

Lucid. Even outside of the drug's effects.

And there's no shame in having difficulties. If you're willing to admit there are things you don't understand, you're already making faster progress than I was at your age. [Assuming he's a human-being in his twenties to thirties, like most people here, anyway.

A few minutes later, the typed copy arrives - it's essentially just the information provided here, with the addition of some uncertainty in regards to how the brain works and what makeup can be made with it. And some fun notes on how exactly she killed the thing quickly. (Stabbing its brain, it turns out.)]

@COWBOYBEEPBOOP

[crownless]

one: can you make hair gel?
two: wtf does that thing taste like it looks gross

Re: @COWBOYBEEPBOOP

[frogfractions]

1) I might be able to put something together. Have you been using anything in place of hair gel? And if so, what? And how do you want to style your hair? And is it alright if your hair glitters?

2) Tea, apparently. Or perhaps teacakes.

[crownless]

Nope, didnt exactly have much of a selection in friggin revolutionary france [HE'S DYING, SAVE HIM.] I usually spike it up. and can we please nix the glitter im not about that

...............can i try one

[thingpuncher]

my work is killing living things
taking our ur garbage isnt in the job description

and good bc i was laughing anyway

[horsepowered]

I...suppose that's an option.

It's a shame nothing indicated preventative measures that could be applied. You're right about knowing to what look out for, but all the same, it's a shame we couldn't just develop a barrier, period.

Now.

Does your secretary know about their new job?