>>@ALKOHEIST | @ALL

[frogfractions]

Does anyone have need of lipstick? I've been able to create a few tubes' worth, but I don't use much makeup myself. The benefits of eternal youth, basically. I should be able to manufacture nail polish as well, and perhaps a few other things. We can discuss based on your needs.

In news that I promise is highly, and in fact, completely unrelated, I've finished my research on the Shaper specimen. As I'm sure most of you are aware - unless we've picked up some new recruits in the past week - we had a pest problem. Basically, I dissected one.

[What follows is just straight-up a picture of a shaper's brain. There's a vial of blue blood to the left, and a plastic container full of small bones to the right of it. Off-camera, there's a few other internal organs she's separated and tucked away, but mercifully she hasn't decided to show everything to the camera.]

Would anyone like to enjoy foreign cuisine with me? The brain is supposed to be a delicacy, so we might as well give it a try. It's unlikely I'll be able to get a hold of another specimen, so it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance, in a way.

And if you'd like access to my research notes, I can text them over to you. Knowledge is meant to be shared, after all. They mostly concern the creature's biology, since understandably I did not want an annoyed psychic creature bouncing around my room, and thus could not leave it alive to study its behavior. In layman's terms, I like being conscious.

Incidentally, any and all moral or ecological complaints can be forwarded to my secretary, @MODERATUS. Thank you for your time.

Comments

@TRENTCOAT.

[thingpuncher]

u know if theres a way to eat them without tripping balls
asking 4 a friend

@ALKOHEIST

[frogfractions]

Tripping balls is part of the experience.

Or are you afraid to trip balls? Fear is an irrational response.

[thingpuncher]

u know that saying
"ill try anything once"
well i tried it
once

[frogfractions]

'Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me?'

I believe the portion of the brain that triggers the effect might be some gland, or in a specific section of the brain. If I were going to guess, I'd say the left half would be fine to eat, at the very least.

How was the taste?

[thingpuncher]

i didnt eat the brain
i got blood in my mouth when i was squashing the little shits
how you gonna neutralize that?

like tea

[frogfractions]

Oh, the blood. I see.

Specific washing and draining would be able to take care of that, I believe.

How did you manage to get their blood all the way to your mouth? Were you killing them with your mouth open?

[thingpuncher]

look there was a lot of splatter
and i enjoy my work
im a happy guy
with a big smile

anyway im down

[frogfractions]

Would you like to squash my unneeded materials?
Picking apart an animal produces a surprising amount of garbage.

And down for dinner? Wonderful. I'll pencil you in. The dress code will be business casual.

[A full minute passes.]

That was a joke.

[thingpuncher]

my work is killing living things
taking our ur garbage isnt in the job description

and good bc i was laughing anyway

[frogfractions]

Technically, our job description is literally fourth dimensional garbage men. We find messes and remove the issues. But I understand your point.

I think that's the first time anyone here has found me funny. I'm quite pleased.

[thingpuncher]

technically, everybodys job can be boiled down to something totally basic and pointless like that
but i understand your point

dont worry ur definitely hilarious

[frogfractions]

I'm an alchemist. I already know that everything is boring when you boil it down to its raw materials.

And I'd like to print that text out and frame it, if that were possible.

@SUBUBI

[excelsus]

would you happen to know what happened to their squished little corpses?

[thingpuncher]

kinda just left them lying around
the blood definitely made me pass out
not that im big on cleanup 2 begin with

[excelsus]

I ask because I can siphon off of death
I have been getting dead shapers as gifts of a sort
Apparently the excess mana can be used to give certain individuals here a boost
And they might be useful in magical research as well

[thingpuncher]

getting them from who???
that sounds less thoughtful wizard and more murderer calling card

[excelsus]

Rider
it's nothing so nefarious as that, he's aware that I am a necromancer
anyway giving him excess mana is a step up from things one should not mention in polite conversation

[thingpuncher]

the achilles dick?
sure do his dirty work if u want
but it sounds pretty dirty from where im standing

[excelsus]

If I didn't know any better I would almost mistake that for hostility
Which part, specifically, sounds dirty to you?

[thingpuncher]

me? hostile? never

what do you think smartass

[excelsus]

as far as being a smartass goes I think we're evenly matched
but to answer your question I've no idea which part of that gets under your skin
exceptional I am, mind reader I am not

[thingpuncher]

none of it gets under my skin
what u do with ur time is your business
u just implied you were blowing him

[what is subtlety.]

1/2

[excelsus]

What?

[Give him a minute, he's genuinely confused by the slang, he'll be properly outraged in just a minute.

After he's embarrassed himself.]

[excelsus]

That's.
Absolutely.
Not what I was implying.
The opposite, it was the opposite!
And that's the most embarrassing question I've...

[thingpuncher]

if thats true ur life has been seriously short on embarrassment